Alexander the Great vs Kirby: who would win in a fist fight?
Pick the winner and how they win (TKO, DQ or decision), then see how everyone else called it.
Alexander the Great
“King of Macedon” · Macedon · 356–323 BC · about 5′7″ (170 cm), about 154 lb (70 kg)
King of Macedon who built an empire stretching from Greece to northwest India by the age of 30 and never lost a battle. Tutored by Aristotle; tamed the horse Bucephalus as a boy.
Kirby
“The Pink Puffball” · Nintendo · 1992 · 0′8″ (20 cm), about 4 lb (2 kg)
Round pink hero of Dream Land who inhales enemies and copies their powers. Officially about 20 cm tall, and far tougher than he looks.
The crowd
Nobody has called this one yet.
The AI’s verdict (spoiler)
Kirby by DQ. Alexander, who solved the Gordian Knot by skipping the rules, finds he can only reach Kirby by bending double, so he stomps instead. Kirby, 150 cm shorter and 68 kg lighter, is barely scuffed. The referee disqualifies Alexander in round two.
Fair fight? Make Alexander fight on his knees so Kirby's head is within punching range. Then stomping is pointless, and it becomes an actual boxing match.
More fights: Alexander the Great · Kirby · all fighters