Fidel Castro vs Kirby: who would win in a fist fight?
Pick the winner and how they win (TKO, DQ or decision), then see how everyone else called it.
Fidel Castro
“El Comandante” · Cuba · 1926–2016 · about 6′3″ (191 cm), about 198 lb (90 kg)
Guerrilla commander who seized power in Cuba in 1959 and ruled for nearly five decades. Survived the Bay of Pigs invasion and, by Cuban count, more than 600 assassination plots.
Kirby
“The Pink Puffball” · Nintendo · 1992 · 0′8″ (20 cm), about 4 lb (2 kg)
Round pink hero of Dream Land who inhales enemies and copies their powers. Officially about 20 cm tall, and far tougher than he looks.
The crowd
Nobody has called this one yet.
The AI’s verdict (spoiler)
Castro by TKO. Castro is 171 cm taller and 88 kg heavier, so the fight is a man in fatigues holding a very angry pink beach ball at bay. Kirby floats, headband on, and swings hard. By round two the referee stops it, worried about Kirby's tiny gloves and Castro's pride.
Fair fight? Make Castro fight on his knees with one arm behind his back, or give Kirby a four-and-a-half-hour speech to sit through first so Castro tires out.
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