Fidel Castro vs Yoshi: who would win in a fist fight?
Pick the winner and how they win (TKO, DQ or decision), then see how everyone else called it.
Fidel Castro
“El Comandante” · Cuba · 1926–2016 · about 6′3″ (191 cm), about 198 lb (90 kg)
Guerrilla commander who seized power in Cuba in 1959 and ruled for nearly five decades. Survived the Bay of Pigs invasion and, by Cuban count, more than 600 assassination plots.
Yoshi
“T. Yoshisaur Munchakoopas” · Nintendo · 1990 · about 5′3″ (160 cm), about 132 lb (60 kg)
Friendly green dinosaur and Mario’s loyal ride since Super Mario World. Swallows enemies whole with a long tongue and turns them into eggs. Nintendo has never published his measurements.
The crowd
Nobody has called this one yet.
The AI’s verdict (spoiler)
Castro by TKO. Yoshi flutter-jumps around the ring, but Castro, 31 cm taller and 30 kg heavier, just stands in fatigues and waits. Yoshi's tongue-swallowing is banned, and his egg-throwing is out. By round two the referee stops it as Castro's jabs pile up.
Fair fight? Let Yoshi fight from Mario's saddle-free height advantage: a raised platform for him, plus Castro gets a strict four-and-a-half-hour speech-length round timer only Yoshi can hear.
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