Winston Churchill vs Kirby: who would win in a fist fight?
Pick the winner and how they win (TKO, DQ or decision), then see how everyone else called it.
Winston Churchill
“The British Bulldog” · United Kingdom · 1874–1965 · about 5′6″ (168 cm), about 209 lb (95 kg)
Prime Minister who led Britain through the Second World War. Earlier a cavalry officer who rode in one of the last British cavalry charges and escaped from a Boer prisoner-of-war camp.
Kirby
“The Pink Puffball” · Nintendo · 1992 · 0′8″ (20 cm), about 4 lb (2 kg)
Round pink hero of Dream Land who inhales enemies and copies their powers. Officially about 20 cm tall, and far tougher than he looks.
The crowd
Nobody has called this one yet.
The AI’s verdict (spoiler)
Churchill by Decision. Churchill wins on points. Stooping as if laying the bottom course of bricks, he lunges with his old fencing-champion footwork and lands the cleaner shots, while Kirby bobs and floats around like a pink balloon at a party. Kirby refuses to go down, but the judges can't ignore a 93 kg gap.
Fair fight? Make Churchill fight one-handed, with a cigar in the other, and let Kirby's corner hand him a stepladder.
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