Adolf Hitler vs Kirby: who would win in a fist fight?
Pick the winner and how they win (TKO, DQ or decision), then see how everyone else called it.
Adolf Hitler
“The Bohemian Corporal” · Austria / Germany · 1889–1945 · about 5′9″ (175 cm), about 154 lb (70 kg)
Nazi dictator of Germany from 1933 to 1945. Started the Second World War in Europe and directed the Holocaust, the murder of six million Jews. Died by suicide in his Berlin bunker.
Kirby
“The Pink Puffball” · Nintendo · 1992 · 0′8″ (20 cm), about 4 lb (2 kg)
Round pink hero of Dream Land who inhales enemies and copies their powers. Officially about 20 cm tall, and far tougher than he looks.
The crowd
Nobody has called this one yet.
The AI’s verdict (spoiler)
Kirby by DQ. The former dispatch runner spends round one stooping and chasing a 20 cm pink target around the ring, landing nothing but air. Out of patience in round two, he stomps Kirby. The referee disqualifies him, and Kirby wins by DQ without breaking a sweat.
Fair fight? Make Hitler fight on his knees so the two are closer in height, and let Kirby wear a slightly bigger headband for morale. Stomps stay banned, obviously.
More fights: Adolf Hitler · Kirby · all fighters