Adolf Hitler vs Mario: who would win in a fist fight?
Pick the winner and how they win (TKO, DQ or decision), then see how everyone else called it.
Adolf Hitler
“The Bohemian Corporal” · Austria / Germany · 1889–1945 · about 5′9″ (175 cm), about 154 lb (70 kg)
Nazi dictator of Germany from 1933 to 1945. Started the Second World War in Europe and directed the Holocaust, the murder of six million Jews. Died by suicide in his Berlin bunker.
Mario
“Jumpman” · Nintendo · 1981 · about 5′1″ (155 cm), about 154 lb (70 kg)
Nintendo’s mascot plumber, first seen jumping barrels in Donkey Kong. Has stomped more turtles than anyone alive and can lift Bowser by the tail.
The crowd
Nobody has called this one yet.
The AI’s verdict (spoiler)
Mario by TKO. Hitler is 20 cm taller at the same weight, but that mostly gives a carpenter who can lift Bowser by the tail a bigger body to hammer. The teetotal vegetarian dispatch runner tries to run. In round two the referee stops it, and Vienna's art school gets one more rejection: the canvas.
Fair fight? Tie one of Mario's hands behind his back for the whole fight, so the 20 cm height gap and the runner's footwork finally matter.
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