Kirby vs Napoléon Bonaparte: who would win in a fist fight?
Pick the winner and how they win (TKO, DQ or decision), then see how everyone else called it.
Kirby
“The Pink Puffball” · Nintendo · 1992 · 0′8″ (20 cm), about 4 lb (2 kg)
Round pink hero of Dream Land who inhales enemies and copies their powers. Officially about 20 cm tall, and far tougher than he looks.
Napoléon Bonaparte
“The Little Corporal” · France · 1769–1821 · 5′7″ (169 cm), about 170 lb (77 kg)
Emperor of the French who conquered much of Europe before his final defeat at Waterloo in 1815. Not actually short: about average for his time. The myth came from British cartoons and French inches.
The crowd
Nobody has called this one yet.
The AI’s verdict (spoiler)
Kirby by DQ. Napoleon, the artillery officer, keeps missing a target that floats and bobs, then resorts to a stomp. The referee disqualifies him in round two. Kirby wins by DQ without landing a punch, and the referee never has to inspect him for a headband.
Fair fight? Put Kirby on a one-metre platform so Napoleon can throw straight punches without bending double, and nobody is tempted to stomp.
More fights: Kirby · Napoléon Bonaparte · all fighters