Kirby vs George S. Patton: who would win in a fist fight?
Pick the winner and how they win (TKO, DQ or decision), then see how everyone else called it.
Kirby
“The Pink Puffball” · Nintendo · 1992 · 0′8″ (20 cm), about 4 lb (2 kg)
Round pink hero of Dream Land who inhales enemies and copies their powers. Officially about 20 cm tall, and far tougher than he looks.
George S. Patton
“Old Blood and Guts” · United States · 1885–1945 · 6′2″ (188 cm), about 185 lb (84 kg)
US general whose Third Army tore across France in 1944. Competed in the first Olympic modern pentathlon in 1912, finishing fifth, and designed the US Army’s last cavalry sword.
The crowd
Nobody has called this one yet.
The AI’s verdict (spoiler)
Kirby by DQ. Patton, 168 cm taller, spends round one bending to punch a target below his knees, round two patting a hip where no revolver lives, and round three stomping. The referee disqualifies him. Kirby never lands a punch and doesn't need to.
Fair fight? Make Patton fight on his knees, so punches finally have somewhere to land. Or put Kirby on a box. Either way, stomping stays illegal.
More fights: Kirby · George S. Patton · all fighters