Mario vs Audie Murphy: who would win in a fist fight?
Pick the winner and how they win (TKO, DQ or decision), then see how everyone else called it.
Mario
“Jumpman” · Nintendo · 1981 · about 5′1″ (155 cm), about 154 lb (70 kg)
Nintendo’s mascot plumber, first seen jumping barrels in Donkey Kong. Has stomped more turtles than anyone alive and can lift Bowser by the tail.
Audie Murphy
“To Hell and Back” · United States · 1925–1971 · about 5′5″ (165 cm), about 110 lb (50 kg)
The most decorated American soldier of the Second World War. Won the Medal of Honor at 19 by holding off a German company alone from atop a burning tank destroyer. Later a Hollywood star.
The crowd
Nobody has called this one yet.
The AI’s verdict (spoiler)
Murphy by DQ. Audie Murphy, turned down by the Marines and the paratroopers for being too small, stays calm against a man 20 kg heavier. In round two Mario triple-jumps, ground-pounds and lands on his head. The referee disqualifies him for the stomp. Murphy wins by DQ.
Fair fight? Glue Mario's boots to the canvas so triple-jumps and ground-pounds are off the menu. Then it's a proper fight: a plumber 20 kg heavier against a very calm war hero.
More fights: Mario · Audie Murphy · all fighters