Mario vs Barack Obama: who would win in a fist fight?
Pick the winner and how they win (TKO, DQ or decision), then see how everyone else called it.
Mario
“Jumpman” · Nintendo · 1981 · about 5′1″ (155 cm), about 154 lb (70 kg)
Nintendo’s mascot plumber, first seen jumping barrels in Donkey Kong. Has stomped more turtles than anyone alive and can lift Bowser by the tail.
Barack Obama
“No Drama Obama” · United States · b. 1961 · 6′1″ (185 cm), 175 lb (79.4 kg)
44th President of the United States and commander-in-chief during the 2011 raid that killed Osama bin Laden. Serious pickup basketball player. A natural southpaw.
The crowd
Nobody has called this one yet.
The AI’s verdict (spoiler)
Obama by DQ. Mario, thirty centimeters shorter, falls back on instinct: he leaps and ground-pounds Obama's head like it's a question block. Stomps are a foul, so the ref hauls him off before he can hunt for coins. Obama, barely touched, wins by disqualification.
Fair fight? Cap the ring ceiling low enough that Mario can't jump, forcing him to box instead of platform on Obama's skull.
More fights: Mario · Barack Obama · all fighters