Mario vs Saddam Hussein: who would win in a fist fight?
Pick the winner and how they win (TKO, DQ or decision), then see how everyone else called it.
Mario
“Jumpman” · Nintendo · 1981 · about 5′1″ (155 cm), about 154 lb (70 kg)
Nintendo’s mascot plumber, first seen jumping barrels in Donkey Kong. Has stomped more turtles than anyone alive and can lift Bowser by the tail.
Saddam Hussein
“The Ace of Spades” · Iraq · 1937–2006 · about 6′2″ (188 cm), about 209 lb (95 kg)
President of Iraq from 1979 to 2003. Launched wars on Iran and Kuwait and brutally crushed opposition at home. Found hiding in a hole near Tikrit in 2003 and executed in 2006.
The crowd
Nobody has called this one yet.
The AI’s verdict (spoiler)
Hussein by DQ. Saddam, 33 cm taller and 25 kg heavier, spends two rounds swatting a triple-jumping Mario out of the air like a piñata. In round three Mario lands a ground-pound on his head, and the referee disqualifies him. Saddam wins by DQ without a scratch.
Fair fight? Legalise stomps and ground-pounds for this bout only, so Mario's best moves count as offence. Or drop Saddam's 25 kg advantage by having him fight after a very long stay in a hole.
More fights: Mario · Saddam Hussein · all fighters