Mario vs Solid Snake: who would win in a fist fight?
Pick the winner and how they win (TKO, DQ or decision), then see how everyone else called it.
Mario
“Jumpman” · Nintendo · 1981 · about 5′1″ (155 cm), about 154 lb (70 kg)
Nintendo’s mascot plumber, first seen jumping barrels in Donkey Kong. Has stomped more turtles than anyone alive and can lift Bowser by the tail.
Solid Snake
“Iroquois Pliskin” · Metal Gear · 1987 · 6′0″ (182 cm), 165 lb (75 kg)
Legendary special-forces operative and a clone of the soldier Big Boss. Expert in close-quarters combat, infiltration and hiding in cardboard boxes.
The crowd
Nobody has called this one yet.
The AI’s verdict (spoiler)
Snake by DQ. Mario triple-jumps at a man 27 cm taller, then ground-pounds him in round two. That's a stomp, and stomps are fouls, so the referee disqualifies him. Snake wins by DQ, barely bruised, while Otacon congratulates him over the Codec.
Fair fight? Ban Mario from jumping and ground-pounding, and make Snake put out the cigarette. Then it's a scrappy, close fight between two men with similar weights, likely decided on the scorecards.
More fights: Mario · Solid Snake · all fighters