Mario vs George Washington: who would win in a fist fight?
Pick the winner and how they win (TKO, DQ or decision), then see how everyone else called it.
Mario
“Jumpman” · Nintendo · 1981 · about 5′1″ (155 cm), about 154 lb (70 kg)
Nintendo’s mascot plumber, first seen jumping barrels in Donkey Kong. Has stomped more turtles than anyone alive and can lift Bowser by the tail.
George Washington
“Father of His Country” · United States · 1732–1799 · 6′2″ (188 cm), about 209 lb (95 kg)
Commander of the Continental Army and first US President. Towered over most men of the 18th century and was famous for his strength, reportedly able to crack walnuts in his hand.
The crowd
Nobody has called this one yet.
The AI’s verdict (spoiler)
Washington by DQ. Washington's 33-cm, 25-kg edge and walnut-crushing grip have Mario bouncing off him like a Goomba. Reduced to old habits, Mario leaps for a ground pound on Washington's head — referee calls it a stomp foul and disqualifies him instantly.
Fair fight? Legalize ground pounds and stomps as scoring blows, since jumping on heads is the only offense Mario actually has against a man this size.
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