Napoléon Bonaparte vs Sonic: who would win in a fist fight?
Pick the winner and how they win (TKO, DQ or decision), then see how everyone else called it.
Napoléon Bonaparte
“The Little Corporal” · France · 1769–1821 · 5′7″ (169 cm), about 170 lb (77 kg)
Emperor of the French who conquered much of Europe before his final defeat at Waterloo in 1815. Not actually short: about average for his time. The myth came from British cartoons and French inches.
Sonic
“The Hedgehog” · Sega · 1991 · 3′3″ (100 cm), 77 lb (35 kg)
Sega’s blue hedgehog, running at the speed of sound since 1991. Attacks by curling into a spiky ball. Short temper, shorter attention span.
The crowd
Nobody has called this one yet.
The AI’s verdict (spoiler)
Napoleon by DQ. Sonic zips around for a round, gets bored in round two, and curls into his spiky ball, which is neither a fist nor a foot. The referee disqualifies him. Napoléon, 42 kg heavier and a trained artillery officer, simply stands his ground and collects the win.
Fair fight? Swap the ring for a 100-metre dash. Sonic would finish before Napoléon had straightened his hat, and his short attention span would never get tested.
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