George S. Patton vs Yoshi: who would win in a fist fight?
Pick the winner and how they win (TKO, DQ or decision), then see how everyone else called it.
George S. Patton
“Old Blood and Guts” · United States · 1885–1945 · 6′2″ (188 cm), about 185 lb (84 kg)
US general whose Third Army tore across France in 1944. Competed in the first Olympic modern pentathlon in 1912, finishing fifth, and designed the US Army’s last cavalry sword.
Yoshi
“T. Yoshisaur Munchakoopas” · Nintendo · 1990 · about 5′3″ (160 cm), about 132 lb (60 kg)
Friendly green dinosaur and Mario’s loyal ride since Super Mario World. Swallows enemies whole with a long tongue and turns them into eggs. Nintendo has never published his measurements.
The crowd
Nobody has called this one yet.
The AI’s verdict (spoiler)
Patton by DQ. Patton, 28 cm taller and 24 kg heavier, keeps a pentathlete's footwork outside Yoshi's flutter-jumps. Yoshi can't resist a ground-pound, which counts as a stomp, and is disqualified in round two. Patton wins by DQ, and for once nobody gets reprimanded.
Fair fight? Let Mario ride Yoshi as a tag team and legalise the ground-pound. Otherwise Yoshi is giving away 24 kg and a whole pentathlon's worth of footwork.
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