Alexander the Great vs Joseph Stalin: who would win in a fist fight?
Pick the winner and how they win (TKO, DQ or decision), then see how everyone else called it.
Alexander the Great
“King of Macedon” · Macedon · 356–323 BC · about 5′7″ (170 cm), about 154 lb (70 kg)
King of Macedon who built an empire stretching from Greece to northwest India by the age of 30 and never lost a battle. Tutored by Aristotle; tamed the horse Bucephalus as a boy.
Joseph Stalin
“Uncle Joe” · Georgia / Soviet Union · 1878–1953 · about 5′5″ (165 cm), about 165 lb (75 kg)
Dictator of the Soviet Union from the 1920s until 1953. Led the USSR to victory over Nazi Germany while his purges, famines and labour camps killed millions. His left arm was stiff and shortened from childhood.
The crowd
Nobody has called this one yet.
The AI’s verdict (spoiler)
Alexander by DQ. Alexander, 5 cm taller and never one to hang back, keeps Stalin at range. The "Man of Steel", 5 kg heavier and a Tiflis bank robbery alumnus, trades boxing for a headlock and a stomp. The referee disqualifies him in round two, and Alexander names the ring after Bucephalus.
Fair fight? Legalise grappling and stomps, so Stalin's dirty tactics stop costing him the fight and his extra 5 kg actually matters.
More fights: Alexander the Great · Joseph Stalin · all fighters