Master Chief vs Joseph Stalin: who would win in a fist fight?
Pick the winner and how they win (TKO, DQ or decision), then see how everyone else called it.
Master Chief
“Spartan-117” · Halo · 2001 · 7′2″ (218 cm), 1001 lb (454 kg)
Cybernetically enhanced super-soldier who has saved humanity more than once. Fights in MJOLNIR powered armour, and his listed height and weight include it.
Joseph Stalin
“Uncle Joe” · Georgia / Soviet Union · 1878–1953 · about 5′5″ (165 cm), about 165 lb (75 kg)
Dictator of the Soviet Union from the 1920s until 1953. Led the USSR to victory over Nazi Germany while his purges, famines and labour camps killed millions. His left arm was stiff and shortened from childhood.
The crowd
Nobody has called this one yet.
The AI’s verdict (spoiler)
Master Chief by TKO. Master Chief, 53 cm taller and 379 kg heavier, wins by TKO. Stalin's stiff left arm means he's jabbing one-handed, and his years at the Tiflis seminary taught no defence against John, who says nothing and hits everything. The referee stops it in round one.
Fair fight? Put both in a 75 kg weight class, so Chief fights at Stalin's weight. Then Stalin's bank-robber cunning and dirty tricks at least get a fight.
More fights: Master Chief · Joseph Stalin · all fighters