Ulysses S. Grant vs Mario: who would win in a fist fight?
Pick the winner and how they win (TKO, DQ or decision), then see how everyone else called it.
Ulysses S. Grant
“Unconditional Surrender” · United States · 1822–1885 · 5′8″ (173 cm), about 134 lb (61 kg)
Union general who won the American Civil War, then 18th US President. Slight of build, a superb horseman, and famously calm under fire.
Mario
“Jumpman” · Nintendo · 1981 · about 5′1″ (155 cm), about 154 lb (70 kg)
Nintendo’s mascot plumber, first seen jumping barrels in Donkey Kong. Has stomped more turtles than anyone alive and can lift Bowser by the tail.
The crowd
Nobody has called this one yet.
The AI’s verdict (spoiler)
Grant by DQ. Mario, 9 kg heavier, triple-jumps in round two and ground-pounds out of pure habit. Stomps are fouls, so the referee disqualifies him. Grant, who set a West Point high-jump record on horseback, watches the airborne plumber like a man who has seen a big jump before.
Fair fight? Lower the ring ceiling to two metres so Mario can't triple-jump or ground-pound, forcing him to punch like a carpenter. Then the 9 kg he has on Grant might actually count.
More fights: Ulysses S. Grant · Mario · all fighters