Kirby vs Joseph Stalin: who would win in a fist fight?
Pick the winner and how they win (TKO, DQ or decision), then see how everyone else called it.
Kirby
“The Pink Puffball” · Nintendo · 1992 · 0′8″ (20 cm), about 4 lb (2 kg)
Round pink hero of Dream Land who inhales enemies and copies their powers. Officially about 20 cm tall, and far tougher than he looks.
Joseph Stalin
“Uncle Joe” · Georgia / Soviet Union · 1878–1953 · about 5′5″ (165 cm), about 165 lb (75 kg)
Dictator of the Soviet Union from the 1920s until 1953. Led the USSR to victory over Nazi Germany while his purges, famines and labour camps killed millions. His left arm was stiff and shortened from childhood.
The crowd
Nobody has called this one yet.
The AI’s verdict (spoiler)
Kirby by DQ. Kirby floats just out of reach while Stalin, 145 cm taller, swings his one good arm at air. By round two the "man of steel" is stomping at a 20 cm pink target like it's a spider. The referee disqualifies him for stomps.
Fair fight? Make Stalin fight on his knees so both men punch at the same height, and let Kirby wear a small weighted vest so he stops floating away.
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