Little Mac vs Joseph Stalin: who would win in a fist fight?
Pick the winner and how they win (TKO, DQ or decision), then see how everyone else called it.
Little Mac
“The Kid from the Bronx” · Punch-Out!! · 1987 · 4′8″ (142 cm), 107 lb (48.5 kg)
Seventeen-year-old boxer from the Bronx who punches his way up the rankings against opponents twice his size, coached by Doc Louis. Listed at 4′8″ and 107 lb in the original Punch-Out!!
Joseph Stalin
“Uncle Joe” · Georgia / Soviet Union · 1878–1953 · about 5′5″ (165 cm), about 165 lb (75 kg)
Dictator of the Soviet Union from the 1920s until 1953. Led the USSR to victory over Nazi Germany while his purges, famines and labour camps killed millions. His left arm was stiff and shortened from childhood.
The crowd
Nobody has called this one yet.
The AI’s verdict (spoiler)
Little Mac by TKO. Little Mac wins by TKO. Stalin has the size, but a seminary and a bank heist are poor sparring prep, while Mac has fought opponents twice his size. Mac dodges, lands a Star Punch uppercut in round two, and the referee waves it off.
Fair fight? Fight at a catchweight, with Stalin trimmed down until the 27 kg gap disappears. Then it's a fair contest, though Mac still has the actual boxing training.
More fights: Little Mac · Joseph Stalin · all fighters