Machamp vs Joseph Stalin: who would win in a fist fight?
Pick the winner and how they win (TKO, DQ or decision), then see how everyone else called it.
Machamp
“The Superpower Pokémon” · Pokémon · 1996 · 5′3″ (160 cm), 287 lb (130 kg)
Fighting-type Pokémon with four muscular arms. Its punches can send an opponent clear over the horizon, but anything delicate gets its arms tangled.
Joseph Stalin
“Uncle Joe” · Georgia / Soviet Union · 1878–1953 · about 5′5″ (165 cm), about 165 lb (75 kg)
Dictator of the Soviet Union from the 1920s until 1953. Led the USSR to victory over Nazi Germany while his purges, famines and labour camps killed millions. His left arm was stiff and shortened from childhood.
The crowd
Nobody has called this one yet.
The AI’s verdict (spoiler)
Machamp by TKO. Stalin has a stiff left arm and a seminary education; Machamp has four arms and a championship belt. Being 55 kg heavier helps too. Machamp's flurry has the referee stepping in during round one, well before anything delicate can tangle it up.
Fair fight? Tie two of Machamp's arms behind its back, so it's two arms against one and a half. Stalin also gets a longer ring to plan his escape, since he's a former bank robber.
More fights: Machamp · Joseph Stalin · all fighters