Miyamoto Musashi vs Joseph Stalin: who would win in a fist fight?
Pick the winner and how they win (TKO, DQ or decision), then see how everyone else called it.
Miyamoto Musashi
“The Sword Saint” · Japan · c. 1584–1645 · about 5′11″ (180 cm), about 176 lb (80 kg)
Japanese swordsman who said he won all 61 of his duels, and author of The Book of Five Rings. Famously turned up late to his duel with Sasaki Kojirō and won with a wooden sword carved from an oar.
Joseph Stalin
“Uncle Joe” · Georgia / Soviet Union · 1878–1953 · about 5′5″ (165 cm), about 165 lb (75 kg)
Dictator of the Soviet Union from the 1920s until 1953. Led the USSR to victory over Nazi Germany while his purges, famines and labour camps killed millions. His left arm was stiff and shortened from childhood.
The crowd
Nobody has called this one yet.
The AI’s verdict (spoiler)
Musashi by DQ. Musashi arrives late, naturally, and Stalin's short, stiff left arm can't find a man 15 cm taller. By round two the ex-seminarian, frustrated, tries a stomp on Musashi's foot. The referee disqualifies him, and Musashi wins without needing an oar.
Fair fight? Tie Musashi's left hand behind his back to match Stalin's stiff arm, so both men get one working jab and Stalin has less reason to reach for fouls.
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