Napoléon Bonaparte vs Joseph Stalin: who would win in a fist fight?
Pick the winner and how they win (TKO, DQ or decision), then see how everyone else called it.
Napoléon Bonaparte
“The Little Corporal” · France · 1769–1821 · 5′7″ (169 cm), about 170 lb (77 kg)
Emperor of the French who conquered much of Europe before his final defeat at Waterloo in 1815. Not actually short: about average for his time. The myth came from British cartoons and French inches.
Joseph Stalin
“Uncle Joe” · Georgia / Soviet Union · 1878–1953 · about 5′5″ (165 cm), about 165 lb (75 kg)
Dictator of the Soviet Union from the 1920s until 1953. Led the USSR to victory over Nazi Germany while his purges, famines and labour camps killed millions. His left arm was stiff and shortened from childhood.
The crowd
Nobody has called this one yet.
The AI’s verdict (spoiler)
Napoleon by TKO. The size gap is nothing, but Stalin's stiff, shortened left arm means he's guarding with one glove the whole fight. Napoleon, an artillery officer who spent his career finding gaps in enemy lines, keeps circling to that dead side and pounding it until Stalin's corner throws in the towel in round two.
Fair fight? Strap one of Napoleon's arms to his side so both men are fighting one-handed.
More fights: Napoléon Bonaparte · Joseph Stalin · all fighters