Barack Obama vs Joseph Stalin: who would win in a fist fight?
Pick the winner and how they win (TKO, DQ or decision), then see how everyone else called it.
Barack Obama
“No Drama Obama” · United States · b. 1961 · 6′1″ (185 cm), 175 lb (79.4 kg)
44th President of the United States and commander-in-chief during the 2011 raid that killed Osama bin Laden. Serious pickup basketball player. A natural southpaw.
Joseph Stalin
“Uncle Joe” · Georgia / Soviet Union · 1878–1953 · about 5′5″ (165 cm), about 165 lb (75 kg)
Dictator of the Soviet Union from the 1920s until 1953. Led the USSR to victory over Nazi Germany while his purges, famines and labour camps killed millions. His left arm was stiff and shortened from childhood.
The crowd
Nobody has called this one yet.
The AI’s verdict (spoiler)
Obama by TKO. Obama's basketball footwork and southpaw jab keep him circling just out of range of Stalin's one good arm, peppering him for two rounds. Midway through round three, overwhelmed and unable to land anything, Stalin's corner throws in the towel.
Fair fight? Shrink the ring to a tiny, roped-off square so Obama can't use his height and mobility to stay away from Stalin's reach.
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