George S. Patton vs Joseph Stalin: who would win in a fist fight?
Pick the winner and how they win (TKO, DQ or decision), then see how everyone else called it.
George S. Patton
“Old Blood and Guts” · United States · 1885–1945 · 6′2″ (188 cm), about 185 lb (84 kg)
US general whose Third Army tore across France in 1944. Competed in the first Olympic modern pentathlon in 1912, finishing fifth, and designed the US Army’s last cavalry sword.
Joseph Stalin
“Uncle Joe” · Georgia / Soviet Union · 1878–1953 · about 5′5″ (165 cm), about 165 lb (75 kg)
Dictator of the Soviet Union from the 1920s until 1953. Led the USSR to victory over Nazi Germany while his purges, famines and labour camps killed millions. His left arm was stiff and shortened from childhood.
The crowd
Nobody has called this one yet.
The AI’s verdict (spoiler)
Patton by TKO. Patton wins by TKO in round two. A 1912 Olympic pentathlete who is 23 cm taller, he keeps Stalin at the end of his jab. The seminary-trained bank robber looks for a getaway route, but the referee stops it first.
Fair fight? Strap Patton's left arm to his side to match Stalin's stiff one, and give Stalin a sturdy box to stand on so the 23 cm gap matters less.
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