Theodore Roosevelt vs Joseph Stalin: who would win in a fist fight?
Pick the winner and how they win (TKO, DQ or decision), then see how everyone else called it.
Theodore Roosevelt
“Teddy” · United States · 1858–1919 · about 5′10″ (178 cm), about 220 lb (100 kg)
Led the Rough Riders at San Juan Hill in 1898, then became the 26th US President. A keen boxer until a punch in a White House sparring session cost him the sight in his left eye.
Joseph Stalin
“Uncle Joe” · Georgia / Soviet Union · 1878–1953 · about 5′5″ (165 cm), about 165 lb (75 kg)
Dictator of the Soviet Union from the 1920s until 1953. Led the USSR to victory over Nazi Germany while his purges, famines and labour camps killed millions. His left arm was stiff and shortened from childhood.
The crowd
Nobody has called this one yet.
The AI’s verdict (spoiler)
Roosevelt by TKO. Roosevelt is 13 cm taller and 25 kg heavier, and he's boxed before. Stalin's stiff left arm means he jabs with a suggestion. Teddy shrugs off early shots, bullies him into a corner, and the referee stops it in round two.
Fair fight? Make Stalin's corner allowed to hold a seminary debate before each round, or have Roosevelt fight one-eyed and blindfolded for the remaining eye. Simplest: give Stalin a 25 kg weight-class handicap.
More fights: Theodore Roosevelt · Joseph Stalin · all fighters