Snorlax vs Joseph Stalin: who would win in a fist fight?
Pick the winner and how they win (TKO, DQ or decision), then see how everyone else called it.
Snorlax
“The Sleeping Pokémon” · Pokémon · 1996 · 6′11″ (210 cm), 1014 lb (460 kg)
Normal-type Pokémon that eats around 400 kg of food a day and then falls asleep, often in the middle of a road. Its stomach can digest anything, even mould.
Joseph Stalin
“Uncle Joe” · Georgia / Soviet Union · 1878–1953 · about 5′5″ (165 cm), about 165 lb (75 kg)
Dictator of the Soviet Union from the 1920s until 1953. Led the USSR to victory over Nazi Germany while his purges, famines and labour camps killed millions. His left arm was stiff and shortened from childhood.
The crowd
Nobody has called this one yet.
The AI’s verdict (spoiler)
Snorlax by DQ. Snorlax wins by DQ. Stalin, a seminary dropout turned 1907 bank robber, taps away at a snoozing 385 kg heavier opponent, then bites its ankle. The referee disqualifies him. Snorlax, whose stomach digests anything, doesn't notice, and sleeps through the ruling.
Fair fight? Shrink Snorlax to around 100 kg and ban Rest, with a Poké Flute blown between rounds. Then Stalin would have to win by actual boxing instead of ankle-based crime.
More fights: Snorlax · Joseph Stalin · all fighters