Joseph Stalin vs Yoshi: who would win in a fist fight?
Pick the winner and how they win (TKO, DQ or decision), then see how everyone else called it.
Joseph Stalin
“Uncle Joe” · Georgia / Soviet Union · 1878–1953 · about 5′5″ (165 cm), about 165 lb (75 kg)
Dictator of the Soviet Union from the 1920s until 1953. Led the USSR to victory over Nazi Germany while his purges, famines and labour camps killed millions. His left arm was stiff and shortened from childhood.
Yoshi
“T. Yoshisaur Munchakoopas” · Nintendo · 1990 · about 5′3″ (160 cm), about 132 lb (60 kg)
Friendly green dinosaur and Mario’s loyal ride since Super Mario World. Swallows enemies whole with a long tongue and turns them into eggs. Nintendo has never published his measurements.
The crowd
Nobody has called this one yet.
The AI’s verdict (spoiler)
Stalin by DQ. Yoshi flutter-jumps around the 15 kg heavier Stalin, who plods after him with one good arm and seminary-grade patience. Then Yoshi does what Yoshi does: a ground-pound. That's a stomp, a foul, and the referee disqualifies him. Stalin wins by DQ.
Fair fight? Legalise the ground pound so Yoshi can fight like himself, and make Stalin fight with the tiny disadvantage of only using his stiff left arm.
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